Tag Archives: sleep

Sleep

It’s 3:00 am.  I couldn’t sleep, and then I slept for two hours, and now I’m wide awake again.  This is just what has become normal for me over the past couple of months.  For weeks I haven’t slept more than five hours in a night.  Except for last night, having a cold and after a long day’s traveling, I was finally able to sleep a full nine.  Which I’m paying for tonight, it seems.

Sleep irregularity is one of the hallmark symptoms of bipolar disorder.  Insomnia, hypersomnia.  In the past few years I’ve had more and more extreme troubles with sleep.  And I hate it.  Hate it.

Sleeping too much, too little, odd hours.  Feeling tired all the time.  Wanting sleep, craving it, worrying about it.  Being the only one awake at 4 in the morning day after day.  I hate it.

If I could just sleep 8 hours every night, I think that, more than anything else, would signal that I’m alright.

head:

I’ve grass stains on my shirt
We squirmed like worms in dirt
I love the way you curled
Just like a flag unfurled
Snapping in the wind
To call the troops back in
But before I marched back North
I drank my dollar’s worth
You drew me in like breath
Your little gasping death
I like it in the South
I love you with my mouthIt’s 2:00 am.  I slept for two hours, and now I’m wide awake.  This is just an extreme version of what has become normal for me over the past few weeks.  In two weeks I haven’t slept more than five hours in a night.  Except for last night, after a few beers, I was finally able to sleep a full nine.  Which I’m paying for tonight, it seems.

Sleep irregularity is one of the hallmark symptoms of bipolar disorder.  Insomnia, hypersomnia.  In the past few years I’ve had more and more extreme troubles with sleep.  And I hate it.  Hate it.

Sleeping too much, too little, odd hours.  Feeling tired all the time.  Wanting sleep, craving it, worrying about it.  Being the only one awake at 4 in the morning day after day.  I hate it.

If I could just sleep 8 hours every night, I think that, more than anything else, would signal that I’m alright.